“What should I wear?” – A difficult question that moves anyone who will get to know a woman or a man in person. In addition to our own tips for a relaxed first date, we also asked over 800 of our par ship members, as you like the “clothes question”:
I am what I am…
Of course you are excited. Sure, you want to arrive well and be liked. But beware: the effort to show your best side is appropriate. But to bother your head, what the other expects, the wrong approach. Do not stare at beauty ideals that you try to read from the contact’s profile. Such a thing leads to completely absurd considerations. Example: You wear glasses and actually feel well with it? Then wear it for the first date. Do you own contact lenses and do you like to go out? Then you have the choice. But: Do not buy extra contact lenses because you have heard that glasses are unsexy. After all, almost everyone – namely 99 percent – finds decency scores with eye-catching plaster … “Schick, but not exaggerated “should logically turn out in the opinion of the clear majority of women (72 percent), the first appearance. Here is a gender difference: only every second man (53 percent) joins this motto. They also agree rather than women to the statement that one should feel particularly comfortable in his clothes (32 percent compared to 23 percent).
Off to the comfort zone
Whether clothes, jeweler or make-up: orient yourself to the first date, especially the feel-good factor. Because: Anyone who feels uncomfortable, narrowed or insecure in his presentation radiates exactly that. Such signals can be misinterpreted – and taken personally. So no Pellwurst tops, in which you put your stomach all evening, no shirt, in which already the buttons tension and no new pants, in which you squirt with the shoehorn. What we still do not want to suggest to slip into the cozy jogging suit! Just think about what makes you feel attractive and at home. Although still 6 percent of the men would throw in shell – in proportion to flatten 1 percent of women. Even less fashionable: to dress yourself anew for the first date. Woman impressed to invest for the first meeting. The message so far: less is more!
First Date Tips for Men: Let us advise you!
What do women want? Men like to be insecure when it comes to appropriate and type-appropriate fashion selection. Do not hesitate to ask good friends or close colleagues, in which you look really good on the first date. It may be that you still hang on your beloved jeans suit at 48 years. But it can also be that somebody should tell you very urgently that you simply simply “sell” yourself completely wrong. So: ask helps!
First Date Tips for Women: Do not pile up!
On your first date, do not hide your face under layers of paint. The man wants to get to know you better and not your artistic talent – or what’s left of you after two hours of peasant painting. For the first date outfit applies: Please do not save too much on the fabric. Cuttings that look very deep and / or skirts that go through rather as a belt, are quickly dubious – and could direct the intention to a one-dimensional level. This also applies to high heels – these are damn sexy, but only if you can walk in it reasonably – and: for the right occasion! Even artfully undulating or high-pile hairstyles could be just too much of a twist when it comes to a casual first meeting. With bad luck, you also arrive at the meeting point “blown by the wind”.
Interim conclusion: The first impression counts!
Whether jeans or jacket, blouse or blazer – in the end, it is probably less a question of packaging than the content, whether you can convince on the first date. And this one – exactly you! – should be well maintained and appealing in any case. Almost half – namely 45 percent of the interviewees – like to give up on the second date, if their date already directly an unkempt first impression left. Assuming you are not completely out of fashion, but it arises mainly from the “authenticity” that betrays your appearance. How appealing you are to the other will never be a matter of sweater color or perfect styling. Of course, the effort you have made counts because it tells your counterpart that you are well worth your while. So you like to think, put on something beautiful and refrain from work clothes and Schlabberlook. But always try to stay yourself. Then it cannot go wrong…
The extra tip for the first date: surprise, not overwhelming!
Important: Make it clear with your ideas that these are suggestions! Give the other a chance to participate. Not everyone is crazy about adventure – or for more than the obligatory cafe visit on their first date. Conclusion: Surprises are allowed – stupid. So we’d rather approach and find out if the other person is enthusiastic about the spontaneous or the unusual and always allows counter proposals. Remember, when things are going well, you have plenty of opportunities and ideas for the second or third date.
During the first date: The dating guide
Whether shyness, physical contact or small breakdowns – there are many pitfalls that anyone can encounter when they want to get to know men or women. In order to be prepared for this, we have put together a few for you as well as first date tips to fight any Date Incidents.
Pay attention to good manners
There are supposed to be people who either never had manners or simply forget them from time to time. So you might ascribe it to nervousness on a first date if someone avoids eye contact for the first few minutes of the conversation. Nor is it bad if you meet in a posh restaurant and do not know in which order the cutlery is used. Inexcusable, however, is to let the date close the door in the nose, or to be late by half an hour of happiness – maybe even without giving notice. Attention is therefore the nuts and bolts of good manners.
Avoid physical embarrassment
Extremely serious are the “physical inconveniences”. They therefore weigh particularly hard, because the physical attractiveness on the first date is quite important. If you find yourself physically unattractive, you probably will not fall in love. So it goes without saying, to shower freshly on a date and to appear with clean fingernails. But also the Nasebohren or nose should be avoided if possible. Nervousness is no longer an excuse.
Recognize taboo topics at the first meeting
It becomes unpleasant, for example, when someone tries to score in an exaggerated way. Splurging with alleged celebrity acquaintances is just as impossible as trying to increase one’s own value with celebrity acquaintances that actually exist. Talk about yourself, not about others. But above all, do not just talk about yourself. Self-love is not good for the other person. Also indiscreet questions to get to know a first date can burst faster than one is dear. Anyone who tries to establish closeness with indiscreet questions (for example, how the other person has endured the sexual drought in the single time) can very quickly put down a belly landing and in the end sits alone there. Absolutely avoid too sprawling speeches about former relationships, where the ex does not get away well. Who then pulls out the verbal feeling-club after a few days or weeks, also rightly arouses suspicion: Who flares up so quickly, can certainly escape just as quickly again?
First-Date Tip: To avoid ill-advised topics, consider a pre-date couple of questions that can be used to help silence silence in an emergency. Tackle keywords from your partner’s profile and think about what really interests you.
Touch it immediately
In fact, learning to distance yourself is part of getting to know each other. However, the first date is really early for Kuschelkurs. Generally it is also a matter of personal speed. Later, it is above all a question of (mutual) need – and above all: consent! It may be that men who find it more difficult than women to express affection verbally in this way set signs – sometimes more, sometimes less skillfully. Therefore, during the first date men should pay special attention to small signs that express: Please keep your distance! Legs that cross her in the other direction, arms crossed in front of her chest, a retreat as you approach her. In addition, finding a partner often means that you feel very close to each other in writing.
Very important when it comes to first date, what to do? Feel boundaries – and respect them. How can I tell if my counterpart is flirting with me? What subconscious, small signals do we send and thus give information about us, without noticing it? The body language of men and women varies. Author and “body speaker” Stefan Verra reveals the tips and tricks of body language in an interview with Paula Lambert.
Paying on the first date is tricky for many. The strict roles of yesteryear provided security: women could safely go out without money, and no man was afraid to appear patronizing by invitation. But even today, there are quite a few men who like to pay at the first meeting. Some men are annoyed when confronted with claims. But what to do when conflicting expectations collide? Talk about it directly: “How do we want to do it?” Or “Your behavior irritates me.”, But without raising your expectations to a standard. Then it depends on how your opponent reacts. Anyone who allocates low amounts as meticulously as on the date mentioned, is petty and politely out of their way. The best way to sail around the cliffs at the rendezvous is to pay with the first date with tolerance, humor and flexibility. And perhaps you like the following compromise: You can talk about large sums, or pay for smaller amounts, who has the purse at hand first.